Generation Three, Chapter Twelve
After, as we lay in the bed together, I
found the silence surprisingly comfortable. Neither of us seemed
eager to jump up or talk – perhaps for fear of ruining the after
effects. Lochi was the first to move, shifting his weight to his side
and propping his head on his hand to look at me. He had a goofy smile
on his face, the kind one gets after finally getting exactly what
they'd been wanting for ages. "That was number six," he
said.
"Only number six? I would have
thought it ranked higher on the list," I said with a giggle.
"Well in my head – there was
more kissing first. And a date with food. A walk under the stars,"
he offered.
"No stars out now," I said,
turning toward the balcony. Morning sunlight steamed through the
opening. "And we already had breakfast. But I wouldn't object to
more kissing..."
Lochi smirked, "perhaps the stars
and the food will come later – a bit out of order. I could cook you
dinner downstairs. Or a midnight snack after a star filled stroll
outside." His fingers trailed across my skin lightly.
"Mmhmm, sounds nice," I said.
"Assuming you can cook of course. I tend to survive on room
service and fast food – think you can out do that?"
"I think I can manage. What's your
favorite midnight snack?" he asked.
My forehead crinkled as I considered
the options and then I shook my head. "The problem with that
question is time zones."
"What do you mean?" Lochi
asked, his brow furrowing cutely.
"I rarely know when it's actually
midnight. Midnight to my body – could very well be lunch where I
am," I explained with a teasing smile. "But – I love
waffles. That's not really a snack is it?"
"Not exactly but waffles it is,"
he said. "I'll have to call down to the front desk to see if
they can get the ingredients for me. Any particular type of waffles?"
"Belgian waffles, with berries on
top and light powdered sugar. That's how my grandma served them when
I was little. Cobalt hated blueberries – so he always slipped me
his before she saw," I smiled, thinking of Grandma Cinder's
sweet smile as she spooned extra blueberries onto Cobalt's plate –
no doubt thinking he loved them since he always "ate" them
so quickly. As the memory faded, I twisted around to face him better,
"I've never told anyone that. Not even my grandpa – though he
probably knew."
"Why not?" Lochi asked.
"I don't know – it was a Cobalt
and me thing I guess. Most things are – or were anyway," I
said, with a small frown. "When I started flying with SimAm and
moved out – we didn't share as much anymore. I didn't even
introduce him to Felix until after..." I gave Lochi and
apologetic grimace. "Sorry, you probably don't want to hear
about him."
"I want to hear about everything,"
he said simply. "Why didn't you introduce your brother to your
boyfriend?"
"Because he wasn't my boyfriend –
at least that's what I told myself," I said. "It was all a
secret – it had to be or we couldn't be on the same crew. And that
meant it was never going to be anything more than a series of
layovers. He'd never pass the five year test, and I knew that from
the very beginning so I didn't tell anyone about him."
"The five year test? What's that?"
I chuckled, "um, it's a standard.
A standard by which to gauge if a relationship is real. It's silly
really but on job interviews or when you're about to graduate high
school – they ask 'Where do you see yourself in five years?'
right?" Lochi nodded, though he still seemed confused. "I
never saw Felix beside me when I asked myself that question. After he
proposed and I stupidly said yes, I tried to imagine life five years
later but he was never there. It was always me and empty spot in the
bed. There were no wedding pictures on the night stand or little
green and blue children. I could just never see him. Even the morning
of the wedding! I was about to do a press conference at SimAm and I
stood in front of one of the locker room mirrors and I tried to
imagine just five hours from then – when I would be standing at the
alter in the dress. And he wasn't there. I saw Cobalt and Lotus and
Sapphy. I saw the preacher and all the guests but no groom."
"If you'd gone through with it, do
you think you would have found happiness eventually?"
"No, not really. I think we would
have either gotten divorced or seen each other so rarely that we
never had the time to make a home together. I would have resented him
– I did resent him actually. This whole last year, I was doing a
job I hated and he got to keep doing the job he loved. It wasn't his
fault – not really – but I was jealous," I said. "Wow,
I'm babbling a lot. I doubt this is on your new list of things to
do."
"Listening to you tell me about
your life is number one," Lochi said with a reassuring smile.
"For what it's worth – I think you made the right decision,"
he added with a wink. "Although that may just be me being
selfish."
------
True to his word, Lochi produced
glorious Belgian waffles with an extra large heap of blueberries that
night and we sat downstairs talking until the sun began to peek over
the mountains. Talking to him came naturally and he listened to every
story with rapt attention. When we returned to our room in those
early morning hours, I didn't feel the pull to retreat to my own bed
as I had so often around Felix. Without hesitation, I slid under the
covers next to him and snuggled against him, feeling like a perfect
fit. We spent most of the our final vacation days in the hostel –
usually avoiding the common areas in favor of a hermitage in our room
with rare attempts to forage for food without getting pinned down for
small talk. Having given up on the top twenty Chinese tourist traps,
we worked together to create our own top twenty list – which
eventually grew to a top thirty-six list. Though we wrote it all
down, we mutually agreed to burn the evidence on the last night.
It was the last day before we finally
ventured outside. I'd put off buying souvenirs for Sapphy and the
twins for the whole trip and would feel terrible returning empty
handed so we made our way down to the village for one last shopping
trip. "I need to pick up a book," Lochi said, pointing in
the general direction of the book store. "You should probably
consider a suitcase as well though, seeing as you're certainly
leaving with more than you came with."
He was right of course. My single
carry-on would barely hold the few things I'd brought with me from
the church that day, let alone a couple new outfits and whatever
presents I found to take home. "Meet back here in twenty?"
I suggested. With a nod, we parted in opposite directions. I started
with the hunt for a bag at the gear store. It was the same merchant
I'd purchased a canteen and dried food from before we'd ventured into
the Dragon Cave. After several disjointed attempts to convey
"suitcase" or "travel bag" to her in broken
Mandarin, I pointed to a small sack in the corner and then tried to
mime putting it on my back like a backpack. The playacting did the
trick because she ducked behind her counter and emerged with a new,
larger backpack. I eyeballed it for a long moment, trying to gauge
whether it was big enough to hold everything, and then conceded. It
may very well be too small, but I didn't feel like wasting an hour to
get my true meaning across.
In the next shop I found two obnoxious,
hand crafted musical toys for Cerulean and Chambray. I picked out a
gorgeous jade hair comb for Sapphy, though I almost put it back
because the color reminded me too much of Felix. Shoving him from my
mind, I took gifts to the register and tucked them each into my new
bag for safe keeping. I'd already sent Cobalt and Lotus a wooden
training dummy just like the one we'd experienced at the Academy. My
shopping all done, I lingered a moment over the display case to look
at the jewelry. Much of it was jade – or had jade somewhere in the
design – but a small selection of amber and an even smaller
collection of opals were tucked amongst the sea of green.
"There you are," Lochi
wrapped his arms around my waist. "What happened to meeting
outside?"
"I got distracted," I said,
still enraptured by the delicate opal pieces.
"So I see. With so many glittery
objects, it's no wonder," he said with a chuckle. "Though I
didn't take you for much of a jewelry person."
"I suppose I'm not really – but
those opals are just too pretty to ignore," I said with a
chuckle. "I could become a jewelry person." After another
minutes, and a long, pointed look from the sales clerk, I led the way
out of the shop. "Okay, my flight is in about thirteen hours –
any last chance stops we should check out?"
"There is one I've heard about,"
Lochi said with a smile. Without waiting for my consent, he took my
hand and we made our way out of the village. A line of carts waited
just outside the walls, each manned by a bored looking attendant.
Four of them saw us at once and jumped to their feet, eager to get
one last fare before the day ended. Lochi flagged one over, gave him
our destination in perfect Mandarin and we awkwardly crammed into the
seat. It was wider than one person needed but not quite wide enough
for two people to sit without being VERY friendly. Barely situated,
the attendant lifted the front of the cart and off we went.
"Where are we going?" I
asked, looking back as the village walls disappeared behind a row of
trees. After another few minutes, we began to climb and I felt sorry
for the poor attendant dragging us up the side of the mountain.
I looked in my wallet, planning to
offer him extra for his effort, but Lochi put his hand on mine and
shook his head. "I'll take care of him, I promise," he said
softly. Even after I put the wallet away, Lochi left his hand on mine
before weaving his fingers between mine. Soon the slope flattened out
into small plateau overlooking the village and the Chinese
countryside. Lochi hopped out of the cart and then offered me a hand
down as well. He and the attendant exchanged a few words and then our
driver settled into the grass under a tree. "He'll take us back
down when we're ready," Lochi explained, grabbing my hand and
walking with me toward the edge of the plateau.
"How did you find this place?"
I asked. "It wasn't in your guidebook."
"I overheard someone talking about
it," he said with a dismissive shrug.
Gazing out toward the expansive
scenery, I wished – not for the first time – that I'd brought my
camera with me to China. I hadn't taken the time to go back home for
anything after the wedding – just fled for the airport and hopped
on a flight with an open seat. Stuck in momentary regret, I felt
Lochi's arms wrap around my waist from behind. "It is
beautiful," I said softly. "I should take a picture..."
I started to reach for my cell phone but Lochi took hold of my hands.
"Just, enjoy the moment," he
whispered. "You won't be happy with a cell phone snap anyway,"
he reminded me. He was right of course, my cell phone would not do
the scene before us justice. Yielding to his advice, I settled
against him and watched as a flock of birds erupted from a tree below
us. We watched their flight for several silent minutes before he
spoke again. "What are the chances of you returning to an
international flight crew?"
"If my boss has her way, slim to
none. Why?" I asked.
"Why? Because we both have to go
back to our real world soon and I want to see you again – outside
of China, in the real world," Lochi said. I tried not to let my
uneasiness show but I felt him pull away. "Sorry, sorry – I
realize you just got out of your relationship..." He paused,
taking an abrupt step backwards. "You know what? I'm not sorry
at all Zuli. I like you – and I know we just met – but the last
few weeks have been amazing for me. And I hope they have been for
you."
"They have," I insisted,
grabbing his hand. "I just didn't come to China for this. I ran
away! I expected to sulk in my hotel room and drown my sorrows with
alcohol and cheap romance novels while I evaded the infamous real
world. But then you were here and you had your top twenty list to
distract me..."
"You should know, I didn't care
about the top twenty list – it was a ploy," Lochi's previous
tension faded and he relaxed beside me. "I just wanted an excuse
to stay and get to know you more."
I grinned, "really? That's... well
kind of crazy. But sweet," I added. "Look, I'm not opposed
to seeing you again – out in the real world – but, as you said, I
just got out of an almost marriage. I think, maybe, I need time and
distance."
"I suppose it's a good thing we
live on different continents then," Lochi said with a faint
smile. In spite of it, I could hear the sadness in his voice but
could offer no words of comfort. We were silent for several minutes,
each deep in our thoughts as the sky turned pink and the sun slipped
to the horizon. Lochi wrapped his arms around me once more and pulled
me closer. "Ya know, I knew the moment you showed up at the door
that I was in trouble."
------
Though Lochi's flight left a couple
hours after mine, we left for the airport together. When we reached
the check in desk, the customer service rep was confused by the fact
that we were going to different places – I guess we gave off the
"couple" vibe already. Noting that I was an employee of the
airline, she offered me an upgrade to first class since they had
empty seats and handed me my new ticket and boarding pass. I waited
for Lochi to finish up and we passed through security together.
At the top of the stairs within the
concourse, I knew that Lochi's gate was the opposite direction as
mine and paused. "I guess, this is it," he said, taking my
hands in his. "I could walk you to your gate?"
"I think that would just suck.
I've been on this side of the glass as the plane pulls away and it's
horrible so I don't want to think of you like that..." I said.
My mind flashed back to the days before SimAm and before Felix, as I
watched Monte disappear. "No, I think here is better. I'll call
you when I land – you'll probably still be in the air but I'll call
you."
"I'd appreciate that," Lochi
said, tracing his thumb over my hand absently. After a long moment,
he pulled me into a tight embrace. "Let me know when you're
ready," he whispered. Our last kiss started tenderly but quickly
became more passionate as neither of us was ready to let go.
Reluctantly, I pulled away first, tears
stinging my eyes. I swiped them away quietly and offered him a
patented SimAm smile. "Thank you Lochi – you can't know how
helpful you've been to me these last few weeks," I said, as I
shifted my bag on my shoulder. "I'll see ya," I blew him a
playful kiss and quickly turned away before the tears started to
fall.
I'd almost made it to a turn when he
started calling for me. I heard him jogging behind me but tried to
ignore it, feigning temporary deafness. "Zuli!" His hand
landed on my shoulder and I was forced to stop and face him with
watery eyes and a couple of fat tears on my cheeks. "It's not
enough!" he exclaimed. "I can't – it's not enough."
"What are you talking about?"
I asked, brushing the tears away. "What's not enough?"
"This – this goodbye and wait
and see approach! I can't do it, I want to be understanding and
respect your limits but I can't do that. At least not without saying
something first..." he said.
"What? Without saying what?"
I stammered, unsure if I wanted to know; if I was ready.
"I love you," he said simply.
"And I know that's beyond crazy – we've barely met but I've
never slept on a plane before because I hate flying – with a fiery
passion – but you, you made it easy. And it's not what you said or
what you did, I just felt better with you next to me and I think
that's significant. Everyday I've spent with you has made me feel
ecstatic. And I think that's love – the together forever kind of
love. The kind that stands up to the Five-Year-Test. Where do you see
yourself in five years Zuli?"
"I....I don't know," I
stammered, trying to imagine five years into the future. For a
moment, I saw the picture on the night stand and I heard the sound of
shrieking kids but I couldn't see their faces. "Happy with a
family, I hope?"
Lochi grinned and dropped to one knee.
He pulled out a small velvet box but didn't open it right away. "The
contents of this box are yours, no matter what you say. As is my
heart." He opened the box with a light pop. One of the opal
rings I'd admired in the village was nestled into the slot. "Marry
me. Because I think you feel the same as I do. I think your heart
swells and your head feels light when we're together. I think you
know that we fit together perfectly and I think you know that we'd
make each other happy forever."
"You're insane!" I said,
though I couldn't deny anything he'd said. "We can't get married
after knowing each other for three weeks."
"Sure we can – people do it all
the time," Lochi said, with a playful smile on his face. "But
I admit to being insane – utterly and completely insane for you."
"No, no this is crazy Lochi. I
don't know you," I said. I realized it was a lie almost as soon
as it came out – I did know him. I knew more about him than I'd
ever known about Felix and he knew me. "I can't marry you after
so short a time."
Lochi nodded, getting to his feet.
While a few people had overheard the exchange, no one paid us much
attention and there were no startled gasps at the refusal. "I
was kind of hoping you'd say that," he whispered, a
conspiratorial smile on his face. "I didn't want you to say yes
out of some sense of expectation," he said, as he slid the
gorgeous opal ring onto my finger anyway. "So I think you should
go home and talk to Cobalt about me – tell him anything and
everything. Like you used to. And show my picture to Sapphy so she
can tell you to marry me. Talk to Lotus too – he seems to be the
levelheaded one. I imagine his advice is sound. And ask yourself, as
you look at this ring every day, where do you see yourself in five
years?" He placed his lips against my hands and smiled once more
before spinning away toward his own gate, leaving me speechless in
the concourse.
End Chapter
D'awwwww
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