Monday, August 17, 2009


Today was not a good day. I knew it before I got out of bed. Well actually I knew it before I went to bed last night. So when I opened my eyes, the temptation to bury my head in the blankets and stay in bed all day was really strong.

Adam was getting married - I glanced at the clock on the side table - right about now. He was getting married. Am I getting ahead of myself? I'm getting ahead of myself.

You want to know who Adam is right? You probably want to know who I am actually but I'll get to that. We'll start with Adam.

Adam and I were high school sweethearts, see? Yeah that's us the first time he kissed me. My mom was a photographer, I have lots of these random slices of life.

We were that perfect high school couple that everyone both loved and loathed at the same time. He was student class president and on the baseball team. I was a cheerleader. When we went to Prom it was one of those magical nights, everything was perfect, see?

Maybe I should burn that picture - I look like a..well nevermind. My best friend Tessa and her boyfriend, Jack rode with us. I'm pretty sure Tessa only dated Jack to upset her parents - it worked. She and Jack didn't get along most of the time.

But back on track - Prom. See the perfection?

We spent the whole summer after graduation hanging out together.

We both went to Sim State together and were a strong couple, we had fun together and never fought.

About six months ago - shortly after we moved back home after college, Adam and I spent the whole day at the beach. It was getting colder and I was ready to go home but Adam kept stalling. The inner-girly girl in me thought he was going to propose that night since he seemed anxious. Finally it was full dark and he couldn't stall any longer.

He took my hand and we strolled along the beach for a bit. He stopped me and gave me a quick kiss and played with my fingers - nerves it seemed. He released a heavy sigh and in one long breath said "Anya I think we should see other people."

I blinked at him several times unable to formulate words. My happy place had just shattered as my brain calculated what he said. I think I made some sort of response, I may have yelled. I don't really remember.

I ran from the beach and took a cab to the home we shared. When I woke up the next morning his stuff was gone. I considered selling the place (it was in my name) and moving but instead I redecorated - a lot. Everything changed, it was better that way.

So even though I haven't dated in six months and still feel the need to dart out of his potential sight when I see him around town, I was over him. I was! Seriously.

When I got the wedding invitation a month ago I nearly threw up. Then I tore it to shreds and tossed it in the nearest fireplace in my house. I did happen to see (and memorize) the date of the wedding though.

Did I mention this was not a good day? Still I did muster the energy to get out of bed. I snagged the morning paper from the porch and went out back to read it in peace.

Even though I am totally over him, and I totally am, seeing this in the morning paper...

Yeah that stung. A lot. I should stop reading the paper I think.

I decided to go to work late so I could track down Tessa and complain. She listened and after a brief consoling, she did what a best friend is supposed to do. She smacked me upside the head (figuratively) and told me it was time to move on. Easy for her to say...

But I'm over him. Right? Right! I am so over that convincing?

Oh by the way, my name is Anya and this is my story. I sure hope someone out there has a grand plan because I'm feeling a little dazed at the moment...

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